Monday, September 24, 2007

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT P

I apologize, in advance, to those of you whose sensibilties I am sure to offend (and my mom)over this post but it just has to be done. Over the last couple of months with Camden potty training and with Geordi becoming acclimated to his new home, (and actually since I had my kidney stones last December) I have been living in the land of urine. I'm sorry. I know it is a gross topic but I have to get it off of my chest. So here it goes.....

Things I have learned about P..........

10. The average output for an adult every day should be 1.5 liters.

9. According to my urologist, everyone should drink an 8 ounce glass of water before they go to bed and as soon as they wake up and everyone should have to get up at least once a night to use the restroom (for good kidney health).

8. According to Survivorman, if you are ever stranded in the Kalahari dessert, you can build yourself a urine still and drink the condensation that forms.

7. Dog P is very yellow!!

6. Fire hydrant is to dog what toilet is to 3 year old boy. They both pee all over it.

5. Dog P has a very strange texture.

4. For urine on carpet, spray area thoroughly and allow to set for 5 minutes. Blot area with a clean cloth. Repeat as necessary.

3. If your son p's on the carpet or the bathroom floor chances are your new dog will do the same in the very same spot.

2. According to Bear Grylls, if you are in the Australian Outback and you are very dehydrated you may drink your own urine. However you must do it within the hour or then it becomes unsanitary and gross.

And now....Drumroll please.......

1. If you get a new dog and he is p'ing on the carpet, the alpha male of the house may want to P on the dog to show his dominance. Did Sam do this???? See the evidence.

5 comments:

The Millers said...

HaAAAAAaa! I needed a good laugh! Funny how much info you get from Man vs. Wild - I never plan to be in pretty much any of the places he goes to, but the info is sticking!

So when Camden is done, you'll have to pass on your secrets. That's new territory for us!
And maybe I'll put off that dog until the next assignment...
Danette

The Caruso Clan said...

Ha Ha, alright I clicked on it. I just wanted to see how much of an alpha male Sam really was....I wonder if that would really work.

Jennifer C said...

Bummer! I was hoping to be able to call Galen and say, "You are never going to believe..." :) I needed a good laugh and that was great! I agree about dog to fire hydrant equals little boy to toilet. I'm sorry to tell you it doesn't end at 3!! :) Have a great day.
Jenn

Holly said...

hee hee...gross, funny and even though I'm still queezy, I thought that was great!

Also, quick tip for Dog P - Odo Ban (I get it at Sam's) gets the actual smell out, anything with a live enzyme (or something like that) works on P but we have landed on Odo Ban after years of psycho cats.

Melanie said...

hilarious!!!! you crack me up. (and i'm sorry you've had to learn so much about dog pee).

miss you so much.